1 post tagged “modernism”
One of my favourite film characters ever has to be Benjamin Braddock off 'The Graduate', played by Dustin Hoffman. Maybe it's the amazing cinematography, soundtrack, or that Ben Braddock epitomised the male protagonist I so often romanticised from my favourite novels of that era. Mostly 'The Magus' by John Fowles, in an ambiguous sense (I can't wait to read 'Home School' by Charles Webb). The existance of Benjamin Braddock to me as far as I'm concerned, was the first icon of modernism in popular culture on screen; an original character from the 60s who was youthful, non-violent and not a fucking hippie.
I was 19 when I first watched The Graduate. It made me really look forward to what felt like an imminent feeling of nonchalance to come in that limbo post-graduation, pre-work. Dustin Hoffman played Benjamin so well, I couldn't imagine feeling otherwise once I had reached this point in my life. It turned out to be half and half. I'm doing WAY more than that now but it doesn't really feel like it. Realistically I don't think that I could be as blase as he was but it is enticing, the idea of having nothing to lose after you've gained everything you're supposed to at such a young age. You may have graduated into an adult at some point but your age becomes your innocence and you can easily dodge accusations of committing any fallacies by seasoned adults. The world is your oyster and telling it to fuck off is your aphrodisiac. I don't even care to know what happens after.
I loved that it was his intelligence and profundity; his accomplished portfolio, the immensity of his expectations of himself and of life that forcefully pushed him back into the desire to keep floating in that swimming pool, a metaphor for the womb. Before I graduated I was looking forward to having my first cigar and rewatching The Graduate with a bottle of champagne but I never did get around to it, not that it's too late. Maybe on my birthday.
I hate that now that I'm out of uni, I'm seriously contemplating doing my masters. I don't have a pool where I can administer a strap on umbilical cord and I hate sunbathing anyway but the idea of going back to uni as a security blanket makes me feel like a thumbsucker (yes, it's puns all around). Nonetheless I could always stand to learn more and I couldn't see myself regretting having the extra qualifications. I just wish I wasn't so bloody straight-edged sometimes. I wish I had more guts. Actually I suspect I secretly want to be god.
Nonetheless, these plans are still tentative. I might start working for all I know. What happens to me as of next year is going to have a lot to do with the success of my short film which begins production this weekend and I've not a fucking clue where to start doing more so I can be fully prepared. Experience comes only after you need it, or so I'm told. Without question, I'll aim to do my best. In times like these when I feel disillusioned, I just think of Dustin Hoffman as Benjamin Braddock and grin at the possibility of me fucking off everything and stealing a bride after she's exchanged her vows. The temptation is so pleasurable, it compensates for real life. Or maybe I'm not just overly-responsible. Maybe I want something that Benjamin wants too.
Mr. Braddock: What's the matter? The guests are all downstairs, Ben, waiting to see you.
Benjamin: Look, Dad, could you explain to them that I have to be alone for a while?
Mr. Braddock: These are all our good friends, Ben. Most of them have known you since, well, practically since you were born. What is it, Ben?
Benjamin: I'm just...
Mr. Braddock: Worried?
Benjamin: Well...
Mr. Braddock: About what?
Benjamin: I guess about my future.
Mr. Braddock: What about it?
Benjamin: I don't know... I want it to be...
Mr. Braddock: To be what?
Benjamin: [ looks at his father] ... Different.
I was 19 when I first watched The Graduate. It made me really look forward to what felt like an imminent feeling of nonchalance to come in that limbo post-graduation, pre-work. Dustin Hoffman played Benjamin so well, I couldn't imagine feeling otherwise once I had reached this point in my life. It turned out to be half and half. I'm doing WAY more than that now but it doesn't really feel like it. Realistically I don't think that I could be as blase as he was but it is enticing, the idea of having nothing to lose after you've gained everything you're supposed to at such a young age. You may have graduated into an adult at some point but your age becomes your innocence and you can easily dodge accusations of committing any fallacies by seasoned adults. The world is your oyster and telling it to fuck off is your aphrodisiac. I don't even care to know what happens after.
I loved that it was his intelligence and profundity; his accomplished portfolio, the immensity of his expectations of himself and of life that forcefully pushed him back into the desire to keep floating in that swimming pool, a metaphor for the womb. Before I graduated I was looking forward to having my first cigar and rewatching The Graduate with a bottle of champagne but I never did get around to it, not that it's too late. Maybe on my birthday.
I hate that now that I'm out of uni, I'm seriously contemplating doing my masters. I don't have a pool where I can administer a strap on umbilical cord and I hate sunbathing anyway but the idea of going back to uni as a security blanket makes me feel like a thumbsucker (yes, it's puns all around). Nonetheless I could always stand to learn more and I couldn't see myself regretting having the extra qualifications. I just wish I wasn't so bloody straight-edged sometimes. I wish I had more guts. Actually I suspect I secretly want to be god.
Nonetheless, these plans are still tentative. I might start working for all I know. What happens to me as of next year is going to have a lot to do with the success of my short film which begins production this weekend and I've not a fucking clue where to start doing more so I can be fully prepared. Experience comes only after you need it, or so I'm told. Without question, I'll aim to do my best. In times like these when I feel disillusioned, I just think of Dustin Hoffman as Benjamin Braddock and grin at the possibility of me fucking off everything and stealing a bride after she's exchanged her vows. The temptation is so pleasurable, it compensates for real life. Or maybe I'm not just overly-responsible. Maybe I want something that Benjamin wants too.
Mr. Braddock: What's the matter? The guests are all downstairs, Ben, waiting to see you.
Benjamin: Look, Dad, could you explain to them that I have to be alone for a while?
Mr. Braddock: These are all our good friends, Ben. Most of them have known you since, well, practically since you were born. What is it, Ben?
Benjamin: I'm just...
Mr. Braddock: Worried?
Benjamin: Well...
Mr. Braddock: About what?
Benjamin: I guess about my future.
Mr. Braddock: What about it?
Benjamin: I don't know... I want it to be...
Mr. Braddock: To be what?
Benjamin: [ looks at his father] ... Different.
