4 posts tagged “photography”
I apologise for my rant about teachers. It's prejudice and uncalled for for me to extend my trauma onto other people who have not shared the same experiences. Different people go through different things. But it's all out on the internet now. Even though I've deleted the post, I know that it will still be out there somewhere. Most bloggers and internet users don't realise the repercussions; that whatever you post on the internet becomes permanent, be it photos or blogs. With my grades, it was unfair but I got what I wanted. I'll be graduating in March. It's still a phenomenon to me as to why teachers dislike me so much. Mmphh... like geese. I've been attacked by birds four times this year; twice by magpies and another two times by geese and probably for the same reason that teachers want to attack me: I subconsciously get in their space without realising. Durrh.
Speaking of blog posts that never disappear, a couple of cousins haven't forgotten a post I made a few years ago on religion. I figured they're still mad at me. Mum says no one complains about me anymore because she jokes that I'm a "gone case" (thank god)... but for a gone case I sure get a lot of love. Heehee. I've been reading back to my old livejournal blog. Would it be narcissistic to compile a best of?
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| Awkward spaces: | [18 Jul 2007|01:45am] |
 All of a sudden the ceiling just got a little too low. The sun continues to blaze my eyes even when the world's got me tucked away beyond its reach. It's like witnessing yourself being dead. Like chroming indifference, like the opposite of inhaling cigars, like holding a pulsating vein between your thumb and the wrong finger. It's called conscious insomnia, a symptom of the restless and rebellious. (It keeps my feet cold at night) | |
I wish I knew what to do with my writing but shooting keeps me so preoccupied nowadays. I'm back in KK and things are working out to be very very interesting. I like when people doubt me but the right people have faith in me. I can't wait to start working on Dream Cradle. Woot! Being back in Sabah has a hype that probably isn't going to last for too long but I'm still a Taurus after all and I like having the stability so I can start climbing career ladders instead of constantly having to start over again in different countries. I like it here. Stories happen.
I wonder if our generation of young people are capable of having fun without cameras. It's as though when we're out, we're so unaware of ourselves having fun that it's just not the same unless you capture it on camera. Either as evidence, or as evidence of some kind of coolness. I say that but I've turned into a bit of a photog myself. I want an analog camera. There was a time when photography was more of a fine art, unlike now where people take lousy photos with their camera phones (URRGHH). It pisses me off how we've come such a long way to appreciate such bad quality.
Our generation of camera users are part of an information society. We need to store, store, store and document our lives or else we cease to exist. If people don't see us, they'll forget us, they need to see the pictures we're tagged in. Photographs are a way to remind other people that we exist. It's not that surprising to me that our jaded society, more than ever, needs to prove its existance.
I'm hardly in front of the camera anymore unless it's a self portrait. Maybe I exist a little less than I used to.
This is the website of a girl I still love although she hates me for falling asleep at a concert, out of my own admitted naiveté. Not like she wasn't at fault. It didn't want for us to stop speaking so long before we were never to see each other again but it couldn't be avoided. The last time I remember us having the time of our lives together was watching Legally Blond II and how Reese Witherspoon's head was spectacularly back lit in every shot. Elle Woods made a comment about how no one should wear paisley. We were silent for a whole minute till I broke it with "but everyone loves paisley" and she laughed at how she was thinking exactly the same. How humiliating, liking paisley. We didn't know whether or not Elle had made a valid point.
I knew how to fold when she took pictures of me, I let her do anything to me but there was little I asked of her. I am usually like this in friendships. I adored her and whatever I must have done to have driven her away, I guess I didn't notice but she's given me a six year deadline before we become friends again. I don't know how true that is but I look forward to this prophecy.
She still has pictures of me on her website while I still patter away on blogs. She's closer to bigger things than I but I've always worked on a different scale next to other talented people either out of stupidity, insanity or a worser case of idealism. Still, that's my face replaced with trees and I think it's brilliant symbolism. I don't know if I ever told her my name meant 'precious tree'.
Daniel's going to hate me but I do love this photo. It makes my goosebumps smile.
I nearly got killed in the process of taking it too. It was worth it.
Last night I dreamt I had a nipple piercing.
